


Some brief yet hopefully instructive notes on sexual differentiation between the Eldar and the Atani, by Finrod Felagund

by arriviste



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Multi, pairings are suggested not explicit, poor anonymisation of research subjects which would never pass an ethics board
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:53:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arriviste/pseuds/arriviste
Summary: As one of the few in Aman who has engaged in long term study of the Atani (including a period in which I lived among themquiteas one of their own), I feel that a few observations from me on this subject might prove helpful. Alas, my original notes were forever sundered from me as an unfortunate consequence of my death by werewolf. Eru Ilúvatar preserves the soul, but the hröa must be made anew: and like the flesh, research notes can only cross what was once the Sundering Sea by ship. I suppose they are now at the bottom of said Sea, if they were not previously destroyed in the ruin of Nargothrond. It is fortunate that I have a perfectly crystalline memory, and can therefore make good the loss.
Relationships: Aegnor | Ambaráto/Andreth | Saelind, Amarië/Finrod Felagund | Findaráto, Beren Erchamion/Lúthien Tinúviel, Bëor the Old/Finrod Felagund | Findaráto, Celeborn/Galadriel | Artanis, Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo, Finwë/Indis (Tolkien)
Comments: 72
Kudos: 170





	Some brief yet hopefully instructive notes on sexual differentiation between the Eldar and the Atani, by Finrod Felagund

**Author's Note:**

> Footnotes should be ideally be read as they come up, rather than saved until the end; I've done my best with the coding to make this as easy as possible. (I will never code another footnote ever again). Thank you to [sixthlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sixthlight/pseuds/Sixthlight) for the learned scientist beta ♥

**Introduction [[1](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#1)]**

Species inclined to polygamy rather than monogamy, the argument is usually made, are necessarily more disparate in size and appearance because their (continuous) need to attract newer and better partners involves a sexual ‘show’ – of lustrous plumage, extreme size, or similar. More monogamous species, on the other hand, are assumed to be more monomorphic in form because they pair once and forever, and thus do not need such extreme displays: therefore their males and females are more similar in appearance, lacking the antlers of the male red deer, the red breast of the robin, the exaggerated size and luminescence of the female angler-fish…

Very well! One can see how such an assumption might arise from casual study of creatures found in Aman or even Ennor. Its application to the Eldar and the Atani is something that needs rather more support, and as one of the _few_ in Aman who has engaged in long term study of the Atani (including a period in which I lived among them _quite_ as one of their own), I feel that a few observations from me on this subject might prove helpful. Alas, my original notes were forever sundered from me as a consequence of my unfortunate death by werewolf. **[** **[2](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#2)]** Eru Ilúvatar preserves the soul, but the hröa must be made anew: and like the flesh, research notes can only cross what was once the Sundering Sea by ship. ****[ **[3](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#3)] **I suppose they are now at the bottom of said Sea, if they were not previously destroyed in the ruin of Nargothrond. It is fortunate that I have a perfectly crystalline memory, and can therefore make good the loss.

It is true that there is far more visual differentiation between the male and female of the Atani. Men grow far more hair than Women of the Atani do: on their chins and throats, and on their chests. Some Men, of course, are naturally more hirsute than others, and certain hair-growth patterns not seen in the Eldar at all may be seen on both Men and Women (under the arms and between the legs, and on the legs themselves). Any suggestion that Men grow this chest or face hair to attract female mates by displaying sexual difference would be erroneous, however. I have spoken to many Women on this subject and have been assured that this is (like perhaps the material of dragons’ nests? See footnote [[3](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#3)]) _entirely_ a matter of personal preference. **[** **[4](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#4)]** Some Men remove this facial hair without impairing their ability to attract partners, while others grow it to excess without notably improving it. **[** **[5](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#5)]**

As many of our "great minds" have observed, the Eldar exhibit less differentiation between the sexes. Male and female alike, we are _generally_ tall and slender and much the same in heights and builds. The argument often made is that this similarity of bodies is because we are naturally monogamous: our form follows our function, our function our form. The greater exaggeration of secondary characteristics seen in men of the Atani (hirsutism, size difference – Men are usually, though not always, both taller and wider than Women, and their bone and muscle density is correspondingly heavier) and women of the Atani (who often, although again not always, have much more noticeable breasts and hips than women of the Eldar do, even after pregnancy) is supposed to echo the "fact" that they are more commonly “promiscuous” than the Eldar.

In _fact_ , there is real cultural difference in how both species define monogamy and non-monogamy, and the binary model of monomorphic (and thus monogamous) Eldar versus polymorphic (and thus polygamous) Atani, which has been proposed by some of Aman’s greatest lights(!), fails to account for several things:

  1. Atani longevity and cultural relativity, where ‘monogamy’ is practiced according to their standards, but not Eldarin
  2. Atani who pair-bond for life and/or exhibit permanent monogamous attachment to a single partner
  3. Sexual activity among the Eldar which stops short of marriage
  4. Cross species pair-bonding for life



**1\. Atani longevity and cultural relativity**

The lives of the Atani are short, and ours are long. Yet despite what others have argued, I believe this divide to be less immutable than is commonly believed. The “immortal” lives of the Eldar will nevertheless end when Arda itself does, and those of the Atani (so they believe) were once longer. **[** **[6](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#6)] **Certainly the lengthening of Atani longevity noted when they lived on the Island of Gift suggests that the span given to the Atani _is_ malleable; it changed for those who came over the Mountains into Beleriand, and again for those who left Beleriand for the Elenna-nórë. Similarly mutable are notions of ‘monogamy.’

This might be the most contentious part of this paper (if not for section three!). It is a debate among the Noldor which has long been marked by acrimony and grief, and I do not touch upon it lightly. The Eldar preference is, of course, to wed but once, and for all time. Our lives are long, and our marriages also, and death does not break them. Death is not the end for us, as I can personally attest, having once been torn to shreds by the serrated teeth of one of Sauron the Less-Than-Admirable’s overgrown experiments. **[[7](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#7)] **Therefore, why should death end a bond of the fëa? The fëa endures as long as Arda, and so must a bond between fear: so the argument goes.

I doubt any reader of this paper is not aware of the one great exception to this apparently immutable Law: the wedding of my grandparents, Finwë of the Noldor and Indis of the Vanyar, which came _after_ the wedding of Finwë to Míriel Serindë, and _after_ Míriel Serindë’s decision to lay down her hröa and depart unto the Halls of the Mandos. I do not mean this paper to be a discussion of the rights and wrongs of that affair: Eru knows that reams of parchment have already been blotted on the matter! Also, my personal bias (that of a grandson who would not exist to write this if such a remarriage had not been permitted) makes me quite the wrong person to weigh in. **[** **[8](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#8)]** Suffice it to say that having made a decision based on, apparently, both true pity for Finwë, and a certain short-sighted faith that Serindë would eternally abide by the desire to lay aside her flesh, the Valar have sworn never again to dissolve an Eldarin marriage bond and never again to allow for remarriage. **[** **[9](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#9)]**

Suffice it to say _also_ that, however we pride ourselves on our apparently innate drive for monogamy, those of the Eldar might yet desire to wed again after the loss or estrangement of a partner, and the Valar have blessed such a desire once before. That they will not do so again is an external curb imposed upon us, not a true reflection of Eldarin desire never to re-wed, or of Valarin inability to dissolve bonds which have come to be less than desirable. **[** **[10](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#10)]**

When it comes to monogamy, the belief that the Atani do not practice it because they re-wed is only true from the perspective of the Eldar, not the Atani themselves. No great power has made the Atani promises about what happens after their own deaths: they grope in the dark, and yet towards the Light. What is practiced by Atani who remarry might better be termed _serial monogamy_ than true _polygamy_ ; many of those who have written on the Law of Finwë and Míriel might argue that there is no distinction, but for the Atani themselves it is very real. In my time among the People of Bëor, I saw many instances of remarriage after the death of a partner, and the remarriages were no less true bonds than the prior partnerships had been. In one case I observed at _particularly_ close quarters, it was possible for the remarried partner to maintain a full measure of affection and respect for his late wife, and yet share with his second partner a similar depth of feeling: no loss whatsoever was felt. In Atani culture, marked by deaths due to disease, childbirth, accident and war that Amanyar might scarcely imagine, remarriage necessarily carries far less stigma than it does here **.[** **[11](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#11)]**

**2\. Atani who pair-bond for life and/or exhibit permanent monogamous attachment to a single partner**

The belief that is common among many Eldar – that the Atani are light in their attachments and with their hearts and bodies – is too offensive to linger upon long. Rest assured that in my time living among the People of Bëor, and later, I knew many who cleaved unto one partner for their entire life, even after that partner’s death, with a steadfastness to rival any of the Eldar, and in at least one instance wholly without any future hope of reunion after their own death. **[** **[12](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#12)]** I knew a case where the adaneth never wed with the object of her affection, but nevertheless carried that flame in her heart all her days. There was nothing light or mutable about such a love. **[** **[13](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#13)]** One can only hope that it will be rewarded even at the end of Arda.

**3\. Sexual activity among the Eldar which stops short of complete marriage**

Without naming my sources, I would like to note that it is entirely possible for the Eldar to form pleasing and fulfilling sexual bonds without, as the Atani might say, _going all the way_ : or as we might say, entering into the pleasant and permanent bond of hröa and fëa which is marriage. In the tradition of the Eldar, nothing of this is ever said, and little has been written. I think this is entirely counterproductive: to treat the matter as one of either all or none, of marriage or else abstinence. On a practical level, this treatment is likely to have led to unhallowed, hasty marriages conducted without ceremony or a betrothal period; and on a theoretical level, I recommend that more study should be undertaken into how far, exactly, the experiment may be carried without the permanent annealing of fëa and hröa. It was generally understood among the Eldar of Beleriand that the Avari had undertaken a great deal of "research" of their own in this line, and that even the Sindar were prone to more "experimentation" in this field than the Noldor (surely a rare instance!).

My own case studies in this line include:

  * a heterosexual Eldarin couple who wed with full ceremony only after many centuries of courting, and who, during that courtship, managed to achieve mutual satisfaction on many levels **[** **[14](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#14)]** without crossing that final bound before they wished to (one must admire the strength of their wills!). **[** **[15](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#15)]**
  * b) a same-sex Eldarin couple who avoided the ultimate act for fear of certain very particular consequences that need not concern us here, **[** **[16](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#16)]** or any other same-sex couples, but who managed nevertheless to maintain a healthy sexual relationship over several centuries whenever they were in the same place consisting of, and I quote the only partner presently available in Aman for interview: _Yes, mouth stuff, and hand stuff (don’t you dare make any jokes about that), and a certain deed involving one of you pressing their thighs together and the other – oh, you know of_ it? **[[17](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#17)]**
  * ~~c) a same-sex Eldar/Atani couple who wed according to Atani culture but avoided the ultimate act that would constitute Eldarin marriage using similiar means as the above couple~~



**4\. Cross species pair-bonding for life**

If anything ought to prove the porousness of the lines between the Eldar and the Atani that others would prefer to be rigid and immutable, the existence of successful unions between the races should underline how closely related the Secondborn are to the Firstborn! **[** **[18](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#18)]**

  1. _Beren and Lúthien_ (usually referred to officially as _The First Intermarriage_ ): Unfortunately, my empirical observations were cut short by the incident of the werewolf in the dungeon, and both parties have since passed beyond interview possibilities. I was only able to observe Beren before the union took place, and was never able to view them together. **[** **[19](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#19)]** However, the symptoms Beren displayed on our quest (starry eyes, tendency to sing to himself while on watch, tendency to cry out _Tinúviel!_ passionately during the night when apparently asleep) were suggestive of a sincere attachment, and reports of everything that came to pass after my death (their first deaths, Lúthien’s choice of a mortal life, the birth of their child, their ageing and second deaths) confirms it. **[** **[20](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#20)]**
  2. _Idril and Tuor_ (usually referred to officially as _The Second Intermarriage_ ): A lasting union that suggests no disparity of nature or attachment on either the Eldar or Atani side, although I was dead for the development of the relationship and have only been able to conduct interviews well after the establishment of their marriage. **[** **[21](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#21)]**
  3. _Dior and Nimloth_ : A case that must be noted but which can only be reconstructed partially, and at secondhand. **[** **[22](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#22)]**
  4. _Elwing and Eärendil:_ A case not of Eldar and Atani, but of the products of such unions forming a union of their own, it should nevertheless be considered here. **[** **[23](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#23)]**
  5. Arwen Undómiel and Elessar, now referred to as _The Third Intermarriage_ , again only able to be reconstructed partially and at secondhand. Arwen’s father (himself the continued collateral product of the unions of Beren and Luthien, Idril and Tuor, and Dior and Nimloth) will be a crucial interview for doing so: however, my other major source on the matter suggests allowing him several decades before I begin any questioning, so this remains to be studied. **[** **[24](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#24)]**



**Conclusions and further pathways for study:**

I believe my primary claims can be broken down into three main points:

  1. Remarriage among the Eldar is something owed more consideration by the Valar and Eldar alike
  2. The Eldar should embrace more sexual play and freedom short of marriage
  3. The Eldar and the Atani are more closely aligned than Amanyar purists would like to believe, on matters such as monogamy (not the property of Eldar alone), polygamy (not the property of Atani alone), and cross-species sexual attraction and compatibility.



I would have dearly loved to have conducted more interviews among the Dwarves when I was alive in Beleriand and had the privilege of their acquaintance. I considered myself a Dwarf-friend, and indeed I believe the strength of our mutual amiability is attested to in both the name they gave me (Felagund) and the extremely gratifying token of affection they presented to me. **[** **[25](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#25)]** However, attempts to inquire into their marriage bonds and pre-marital, post-marital and extra-marital attachments were far less successful than with the Atani, perhaps owing to Dwarf cultural sensitivities. As they are forever parted from me by both the Sundering Sea and the separation of Aman from Arda, such avenues will have to remain, similarly, forever unpursued. **[** **[26](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860562/#26)]**

~*~ _Findárato Ingoldo Arafinwion~*~  
_

**Endnotes:**

**[1]** First Draft dated Fourth Age 23, but bearing certain Later Amendments.[return to text]

 **[2] **It might be assumed that, having failed to follow me into torment and death in the matter of the Silmaril, one of those sworn to my service _might_ have sought to redeem themselves by at least carrying my research notes safely out of Nargothrond; however, you would be wrong. [return to text]

 **[3] **Later sources from the Second and Third Age have suggested that Morgoth’s cold-drakes and their warmer kin build themselves nests. Accounts suggest gold is their preferred material for this, but do a few anecdotes really rise to the level of generalisation? Sometimes I have a terrible dream where I see all my notes turned into a foul and stinking nest by the Great Worm Glaurung, no doubt out of draconian spite, and the incidences of true foresight in my line suggests to me that this might be more than merely imagination. [return to text]

 **[4] **Indeed, an adaneth I once knew well, who I will not name here, although I will note that she was exemplary of both her sex and species and possessed excellent taste, _markedly_ preferred potential male partners who were hairless of face and body and rather tall and slender, suggesting a preference in line with that of the Eldar, and _against_ the popular argument that among the Atani pronounced sexual difference was a prerequisite for sexual desire. [return to text]

 **[5]**Personally, I believe that additional hirsutism can add _greatly_ to the attractiveness of an already attractive Man; but this may be somewhat linked to the strong Eldarin response to ‘plumage display’ in the form of attractive hair (another blow to the monomorphic theory!), which I will address in a later essay (tentatively titled: ‘Good Hair and the Quendi: A Fetish or A True Secondary Sexual Characteristic?’). [return to text]

 **[6] **There! A certain peerless adaneth need no longer look at me from under her stern brows, even in memory, for I remember both the tale and the wounds. [return to text]

**[7] **I bit back. [return to text]

 **[8] **Really, a _true outsider_ who has no personal connection to either the Noldor or the Vanyar would be the best person to judge the case; better still, one with no _personal antipathy_ for either the children of Indis or of Míriel. How to both find such an observer, and to provide them access to the existing research, seems impossible… **[Amendment F.A. 119: Young Elrond informs me that his intriguing small houseguest with the even more intriguing _hirsutism of the feet_ has taken an interest in the matter!]** [return to text]

 **[9] **The Atani have an expression for this that I think is well applied here: “Closing the barn door _after_ the horse has bolted.” [return to text]

 **[10 ] **I believe there _is_ a case currently in the Courts about whether or not one’s husband’s apparent consignment to the Timeless Void Beyond the Doors of Night and the Walls of the World, Outside of Space and Time, constitutes grounds for divorce and remarriage, given that such consignment _seems_ wholly more binding than Míriel’s assertion that she was done with her flesh: but how sincere this appeal is is open to doubt, as I believe that the case has only been lodged to _make the cursed inscrutable Valar either confirm or deny for once and for all the ultimate fate of my husband and children, and no, ‘no comment’ is not an answer! I honestly believe that some of them get off on being withholding…_ [return to text]

**[11 ] ** ~~In Atani culture, or at least among the People of Beor, the children of a first marriage might come to respect a second, and even to sincerely bless a union that made their father happy, even if such a union necessitated his absence from their daily lives except for major holidays and occasional visits of longer duration! Step-parenthood, however fleeting, offers rewards which, alas, the single instance of such in Eldarin history offered neither stepmother nor stepson: they might have been there to be found, had the cultural stigma and the personal resentments of those involved not been as heavy as they were. This is another reason, as I suggest above, that the Law of Finwë and Míriel should _not_ be the final word on whether or not remarriage should be permitted among the Eldar.~~ [return to text]

**[12] **I do _not_ believe that monogamy is the only proof of true and lasting attachment, and I do believe that it is possible for both Eldar and Atani to form more than one true and sincere attachment in their lives, whether they are short or long. [return to text]

 **[13] **Here one might cite cases of Eldarin affection which changed or altered, but as the two cases most cited involve people that are dear to my own heart, I would rather not. In the case of my own grandparents, I believe I have already made my sentiments known in section one. In the other, suffice it to say that my niece Finduilas did _not_ give her heart away lightly, either in the first instance or the second, and that she faced circumstances than none of the Eldar who have only ever lived in Aman might imagine; and that in the second instance, however worthy (or not) the Man in question was, there was a greater and more fell Will at work than her own. [return to text]

 **[14] **The identity of this couple must remain occluded; unfortunately for the advancement of research, so too must the acts in question in which they engaged, for, despite the promised anonymity, the member of the couple available in Aman for interview refused to divulge more details than cited above, on the grounds that I did not need to know, and that, in fact, given my relationship to the interview subject, my interest was unseemly and slightly disgusting. I was forced to concur with this statement, and to reflect that some things are, in fact, not worth knowing. [return to text]

 **[15] **One does wonder whether this admirable patience and strength of will owes anything to particularly Sindarin cultural practices, and if so, whether this has anything to do with the three-hundred-year-long first encounter of Melian and Elu Thingol? Further research needed. [return to text]

 **[16] **These are unlikely to be a concern in any other cases, since the swearing of eternal Oaths has, thankfully, entirely passed out of fashion. [return to text]

 **[17] **'Hand stuff’, ‘mouth stuff’, and ‘the thigh thing’ was as descriptive as the interviewee would allow themselves to be, but further questions determined that whether the manual masturbation was mutual or not made no difference to avoiding the conferment of a permanent marriage bond, and it was also possible for oral intercourse – “mouth stuff” – to be performed and even conclude simultaneously without marriage ensuing. Further questioning had to be abandoned when the interviewee grew too distressed to continue. [return to text]

 **[18] **Of course these are not the _only_ unions ever formed between Eldar and Atani, or indeed even the only successful ones, but the only ones generally known. ~~One might have reasons for one’s own for preserving the privacy of one’s past union with one of the Atani, such as, hypothetically, desiring to remarry among the Eldar after the death of one’s mortal partner, in the _serially monogamous_ mode of the Atani~~ [return to text]

 **[19] **Half-Maia heritage of Lúthien a slight drawback to generalising from this case study. [return to text]

 **[20] **Indeed, not only did their union prove a permanent and lasting bond, their cleaving to each other beyond all others reached such extremes that even the Green-elves described their retreat into Ossiriand as _frankly anti-social._ [return to text]

 **[21] **Glowering presence of Turgon a slight drawback to true confidentiality between self and interviewees. [return to text]

 **[22] **There is considerable debate among the Sindar separatists in Aman about whether Dior Eluchil was himself mortal, or half-mortal; most claim that he was half-Elven, and treat the suggestion that, having been born to two then-mortal parents, he was mortal himself, as offensive. Whether the union of Dior and Nimloth should be counted as a union between Atani and Eldar remains, therefore, a sensitive subject, and I have erred on the side of _not_ being lightly pinned by arrows to the nearest flat surface. [return to text]

 **[23] **Maia heritage still a concern here. Also, attempts to obtain interviews with subjects have been less than successful, as whenever questions become probing Eärendil has ‘things to do in the sky’ and Elwing is prone to turning into a bird and leaving through the window. [return to text]

 **[24]** The mixed heritage of both my great-niece (Maia and Atani heritage) and her husband Elessar (Eldarin and Maia heritage) still holds problems for generalising. [return to text]

 **[25] **Currently affixed to Eärendil’s brow as part of his whole Silmaril apparatus. Have only raised the matter with extreme tact, so far to no concrete result and several exits via window. [return to text]

 **[26] ****[Amendment F.A 120: Legolas son of Thranduil, some sort of distant cousin of mine through Thingol, has arrived in Aman _accompanied by a Dwarf!!!_** ] [return to text]

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes you write things with actual plot or things that are quite grim! and then other times you sit down and dash off something very silly indeed in a single afternoon as a palate cleanser...
> 
> If you liked this, feel free to pop over [to my tumblr](https://arrivisting.tumblr.com/post/610985601534148608/tolkien-ficlets) and request a ficlet. ♥


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